Wow. This place is like that one time, when I went with a girl, also her first time, to IKEA, and we got lost, because it’s really hard to find the way out of IKEA the first time you go there. There’s like that laminate flooring that I put in my last house…pretty much everywhere. I keep expecting the people in the red shirts to jump out of nowhere and hand me the little golf-pencil and a shopping list pad so I can mark down the furniture that I want and pick it up near the exit.
The next thing I notice is that the currency is really different. There’s like 7 of theirs to 1 of ours. Not 10 or 5 or 2 or something easier…and whatever you want, well, sorry, you can’t afford it! It was cheaper to use my USA cell phone than to use a pay phone for a local #. So, obviously, I’m on the bus ($13) to town rather than the express train($30).
And if I understood correctly, the hotel room I blindly reserved costs a measly $70 and doesn’t come with sheets. But all is not lost; if I clean it myself there’s like some sort of refund I qualify for. What I want to know is who the hell is this person? I mean, am I going to get the white-glove test on the underside of the bed frame? I mean, isn’t the whole reason for paying so you don’t have to mop the floors? Do I get my own spray bottle of Lysol? What about those nifty little wipe-rags the maids always use? I bet some of those could come in handy.