January 6, 2007 by zankbennett.

Anyone want to come ride a motorcycle around northern Vietnam with me? I’ll be in Hanoi on like the 15th and spending a few days getting used to the language and culture and figuring out how to read street signs and getting used to the medication that is supposed to cause psychotic episodes and dreams where you wake up pretty sure you’ve become a serial killer and the world ends Thursday. The trip will last about two weeks. You’ll get to visit mountain tribes that live now as they have for hundreds of years…if we can find them. I don’t think these are listed as trail-side attractions of the main dirt road.
You must feel confident dodging massive bolders on a 1960’s Russian-made 125 cc motorbike and be proficient in begging for help in Vietnamese when flats, broken chains…you name it…occur.
You must enjoy dirt. Lots of it.
This is a trip of a lifetime and not for the timid.
If you would like to be the primary beneficiary on my life insurance policy, please see my eBay auction.

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I bought this toothpaste. It’s Colgate. It tastes like mint…a good thing. It also, however tastes like some weird grass. It’s not lemon grass, my first guess. It tastes like I just grabbed a half-chewed handful of pasture-grass out of the mouth of a milk cow and threw it on my toothbrush. It’s absolutely terrible, but at least it’s not spicy!

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Hi, I made a reservation. I’m just calling to confirm and say that I’m on the way.

-oh. You have a reservation?

Yes.

-when do you want a room?

Well, I made a reservation for tonight and tomorrow.

Click

-hi, how can I help you?

Ah, yes, I have a reservation for tonight.

-you want room tonight?

I’m on the bus. Z-A-N-K.

-ok, what dates?

Tonight and tomorrow.

-Check in on six?

Yes. You have my reservation?

-where are you calling from?

I’m on the bus. I have no idea where I am. There’s a good chance I got on the wrong bus anyway.

-From six to seven?

Yes. So, you have the reservation?

-how many nights?

Um, two. How much is the room?

-[some amount]

Oh. That’s 300 baht more than the girl told me yesterday.

-whats your name.

Huh?

-where are you?

CLICK.

…..that happens daily! I’m developing skills that I may never need again, but there coming along none the less.

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January 6, 2007 by zankbennett.

Left the beautiful nature reserve at Khao Sok via mini-bus to Surat Thani and flew to Bangkok…then took a bus to Pattaya. Pattaya is famous for having the worst/most sex tourism in the country. It was a stopover on the way to the picturesque island of Ko Chang. Went out with a couple Kiwi guys, Ben and Sam on their first night in Thailand. What a crazy town. It’s really more sad than anthing else. There are lots and lots of middle-aged (read: 55+) walking around with skinny Thai girls who appear to be 15. Viagra is sold on every corner.
…in other words, I’m happy to be on a bus right now, halfway to the island…
The bus is riding a little high on the left side…that’s because it’s jacked up on that side so the tire-guy can change a tire. Ha ha. We’re all on the bus and the engine’s running. Why wouldn’t we just pull over and get some maintenence done? What’s an extra hour tacked onto the already FOUR-hour ride. I think the whole trip is about 100 miles :~)

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